So things…suck and rock at the same time August 2, 2006

I give up, I suck at life.

I created a Citi checking/savings account online a few weeks ago because the interest rate was outstanding and it’s easy to transfer money from wherever. Last week I sent in the signature page to comfirm the account. I just logged in and my account information is…fucking gone. It asked me to re-register and I can’t view my balance or anything. I don’t have my ATM card with me to prove my identity if I called. They haven’t even funded my account with the deposit that I mailed in. Arg! This is what I get for opening an account online isn’t it? God damnit, it seemed so simple.

On a more (much more) positive note: I submitted my application for registration and it was accepted. The advisor is going to call me today to hopefully register me over the phone and then I will start classes on the 24th!

The program will be 5 days a week and will provide me with 24 credit hours toward the 2-year program that I will start in the fall of ‘07. Yay for me, this is a huge step forward in my life!

$7.50 for a talkfest July 31, 2006

If you talk through an entire movie that I paid to see I should have every right to kick you in the mouth. Seriously. Why do people pay $7+ to see a movie and giggle/talk/get up every 5 minutes through the whole thing??

I always get stuck behind groups of 3-5 stupid kids (or people, it’s not all teenagers) who ruin the whole movie for me! I shouldn’t fucking have to get up and move but usually it comes to that.

This just frustrates me so bad. Lately every single time I’ve been to the movies this has happened and if it wasn’t talking/giggling/texting on their cellphone it was kids shaking the entire row because they were trying to have sex. I hardly even want to bother going anymore and it used to be so fun. I think I’m just going to turn around and tell them to shut the hell up from now on. There are far cheaper places to sit and talk.

My thighs burn just thinking about it July 25, 2006

First of all I wanted to share this cool link: MyxerTones. Pick a song from your computer and this converts it into a ringtone and sends it to your phone. I did it yesterday and it was quick and easy. I think the only charge is a messaging fee but I guess I’ll find out when I get the bill huh?

I’m trying to pick back up on exercising and I think I’m going to cancel my gym membership unless I can push myself to get involved in a class. I wasn’t getting anything from running 30 minutes a day and I think a class would be the structure that I need…now if I only knew if school was going to interfere with that. Anyway, I did 15 minutes (the first routine) of Carmen Electra’s Fit to Strip yesterday after work and, let me tell you, I was sore right after. I’m not a big fan of the striptease videos. They’re fun but not really the workout I need. The second video…is 100% aerobic cardio. Running definitly sped up my heartrate but aerobics is a completely different breed of evil cardio. Ever Carmen gets winded doing these routines.

Everyone else seems to be doing this to. I have a Vox, wanna add me?

I want reality to go away July 24, 2006

I’ll cut this because it’s probably TMI for the occasional random visitor, and because I’m polite.

And the verdict is…still undecided. July 20, 2006

I’ve been thinking more and more about what I’m going to do with the rest of my life and trying to decide what is going to make me happy. Next month I start a 2-year degree to become a court reporter but is that going to be enough? Will that make me happy? On the way to work another thought popped into my head: law school?

My problem is that I’m terrified that I’m not smart enough for anything. I get lazy and I start slipping even when I’m interested in something. I wonder if it’s even possible to make myself learn and study.

I’m very interested in the thought of studying law. I’m not sure that I could ever be an attorney but there are other options. I want to be happy, have an interesting job and be financially secure and that’s the first time I’ve thought of a career and not thought, “I’m not smart enough and I can’t work that hard.”

I feel like complete shit for waiting so long inbetween high school and college, not taking high school seriously and wasting everyone’s time.

Either way, classes start August 28th and I’ll be there.

Things I need to get done before then:
!!! pay off my credit cards
!! get my ass in to fill out paperwork
! put in a few applications so that I won’t be stuck without a job

The Olive Garden is overrated July 17, 2006

Last week, thanks to a photo post by Amanda showing her amazing lunch at the Olive Garden, I talked Nathan into going there for dinner. What is it about salad that makes it so damn good at a resturant? It seems to me that it’s never as good when I make one at home. Anyway, we ended up having a horrible experience. We waited over an hour for our food because “our ticket was lost in the kitchen.” Our waiter didn’t even notice until everyone in the room around us had their food. He was obviously embarrased and kept apologizing every time he passed the table so that by the time we got our food I wanted to stab him in the face with my fork. He was only waiting a few tables and he seemed to be too overwhelmed.

And I know that the kitchen has to go in the order of the way the tickets are turned in but how fucking long does it take to make a half-ass, shitty pizza? Over 30 minutes after they lost the ticket apparently. All in all, the meal was so-so and it was too expensive for such a shitty experience. I filled out a comment on the website and the manager called me last night!

And why is it that when you have a crappy experience, the resturant always sends you a freakin’ gift card? This is actually the second bad experience I’ve had in a row, why would I want to go back?

When service is shitty do you feel bad for not leaving a tip or do you always tip no matter what? And I mean problems with the service, not because of something that wasn’t the waiter’s fault. Technically the problem with our food was not our server’s fault so we tipped but we sat there for too long before he even realized there was a problem. I would have felt guilty for not leaving anything.

Holiday July 9, 2006

These are from St George Island last month. Hover for description and click to see them full size.

Split July 6, 2006

I don’t understand how I can dislike myself so much and still not have the motivation to change. I really wonder if I’ll ever be the person that I want to be. Do I even want to change deep down? When I look in the mirror I don’t see the person that I think I am. And when I think back on situations and moments I wonder who the hell that was.

I don’t know how to change.

Stuck in Tennessee July 1, 2006

We’ve had family in from Washington all week. They left yesterday morning and it’s so lonely after having 10+ people crowded around the dinner table every night. I really miss them. I only had to work until noon so we’ve been out doing stuff every day. It’s so hard to get settled back down into routine.

Nathan and I are talking about moving again even though it probably won’t happen. He’s taking a trip and working a crappy job and when I go back to school this fall I’ll be working a crappy job too. I really doubt that we will be able to afford anything. It’s really depressing me. I know that it’s probably better to take it easy while I still have my parents and their support but I want to get out of Tennessee. I feel stuck here no matter what I do or accomplish. I want to feel like I can move and be okay. The more that I depend on my parents the worse it’s going to be when I don’t have them to depend on. But Nathan just seems to want to stick with where we are. I feel like it’s time to grow up but I don’t feel that we’ll be able to do that as a couple for a very long time.

Everyone’s out to get my damn money June 26, 2006

I got a new phone from Verizon last week after standing in line for over an hour and a half. They told me to stop using my car charger because it fries the battery. It's funny how they never tell you that when they sell you the damn thing huh? Anyway, brand new phone and I ended up buying a new battery b/c mine was starting to act like it was low…it still won't work. I've charged it all night and after having it all all day for just one day, it's dead. Completely. Why the hell do they get away with this?

I'm just in a pissy mood today. And I've caught a cold.